Ashamed

I'm beginning to feel ashamed of my 'poetry'
Redundant and tarnished, like broken pottery burried halfway down
Digging myself deeper with each battered adjective
Faded noun, every tired verb
I'd stop if I could, really
But my fingers just keep moving with no consideration for my mind
So bear with me
We'll undertake the naked truth together
(United, in mutual respect)
Sure. Or at least
Mutual ignorance...
You can stare at these words a lifetime
For they may not dance for you as they once did in my mind

If I had the courage
(and the privacy)
I'd take a razor blade to my wrist and
Press it deep...
No
Scratch that...
If I did any damage it would be with a pen
An ink-leaking blade sharp enough to break the skin
Scrawling song lyrics
Words in uneven lines
More liquid than water
Twice as brilliant as I could hope
Mine would ever be
And when the tip pierces the place
Where my veins run blue
I'd lose a little blood, sure
But I'd gain a little, too
Slow-drip-transfusion of beauti
Blinding me back to life
And I'd lie limp in your arms
Fire raging inside
As you furrowed your brow and began dressing my wounds
Drained of the poison I've been longing to spill onto you
Looking into your eyes searching for tender lies to sever
Maybe kind of pale but feeling more alive
Than ever