It was supposed to be funny

It was only a joke-
You called me a bitch in front of everyone and
We laughed and clinked glasses
Coffee overflowing
Burning our lips
So now,
Every time we kiss
New wounds burst into bloom and
Wilt.

I collected lucky coins,
I collected four-leaf-clovers
And you accidentally
Cut me out of every photograph
In your house.

The monsoons crawled down flooded sidewalks
I spent my days staring out of windows
I searched your drawers when I was bored but
You never hid anything there
Everybody knew that
We had problems
We pressed them lovingly
To our chests
And as they throbbed in time with
Your heart and
Mine
We danced to the rhythm and
Got undressed.

We always fought to our deaths with our claws in
We always bit without using our teeth
So when you asked if you could
Tie me to the train-tracks, I agreed
But now I’m trembling and I’m freezing and I’m
Face down in the weeds
Letting splinters from the rough boards
Sink their needles into me.

I hear the whistle in the distance and
I realize this time
You’re going to win
You’ve got a tiny little smile
About to erupt into a grin
The iron groans
The pistons sigh and
You turn your back on the approaching train
I feel the metal hum under my rope-bound wrists
And watch you walk away
You walked out on me.

I can see the locomotive’s
Thick black smoke rise through the trees
And when the wind slides heavy across my back
I struggle to set myself free
I tense my muscles and thrash and cry and choke and gasp and
Grit my teeth
And above the deafening roar of the engine
I can’t help but think-
It was only a joke...
and it was supposed
to be funny.