Say it out loud

The lights are blindning and I catch my breath
Just in time, as it was getting away and you trace my jaw as I fight my urge
Struggling softly on the pillow we share with your fingers in my hair and it smells like apple
A scent that doesn't belong in this room with dusty windows and a floor the colour of the
Smoked sky.
You're taller than me and twice as strong and I have to stand on my tiptoes to hug you
The kind of masculinity I tell myself I've been deprived of
As I whisper things to myself and wonder if I mean it…
You touch me gently
Playing with the shiver I give every time you pinch that mine-field that lies where I curve...
Your kisses are soft and slightly careless compared to the crimson I crave
And you hold me at arm's length in the glaring lights of this sanctuary to give my figure the once-over
while I wished you didnt make me feel so real
Pulling on my jacket and letting you kiss my neck I feel
My eyes gleam as if to say shame-on-you for lying through clenched teeth...
I've got brand new scars now and one more boy to add to the score card
So long it occupies shelves and shelves of tortured notebooks I
Write your name over and over again under mine I press so hard it breaks the lead
And draws blood from the page remind me to be more
Careful
Next time…
The stars are falling and you steal my breath-
Then again, I haven't been guarding it very carefully...